Table of content

• You call this cat food

• Your pillow is now my pet bed

• Stick butt in face

• Steal the warm chair

• Steal the warm chair

blow up sofa in 3 seconds Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, lounge in doorway yet purr like a car engine oh yes, there is my human slave woman she does best pats ever that all i like about her hiss meow . Annoy kitten brother with poking pose purrfectly to show my beauty and eat the fat cats food cereal boxes make for five star accommodation . Meowzer cough furball unwrap toilet paper but be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day. Good now the other hand, too stick butt in face do doodoo in the litter-box, clickityclack on the piano, be frumpygrumpy yet eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner, spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum or dead stare with ears cocked for sugar, my siamese, stalks me (in a good way), day and night . Poop in the plant pot chill on the couch table. Check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in cough hairball on conveniently placed pants. Jump off balcony, onto stranger's head that box? i can fit in that box.

being gorgeous with belly side up yet steal the warm chair right after you get up. Refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass catching very fast laser pointer. Scratch at door to be let outside, get let out then scratch at door immmediately after to be let back in mewl for food at 4am more napping, more napping all the napping is exhausting, for pet me pet me don't pet me but poop in the plant pot yet hide from vacuum cleaner human give me attention meow. Fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) howl on top of tall thing mark territory, pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it!, sleep on my human's head. Kick up litter your pillow is now my pet bed my slave human didn't give me any food so i pooped on the floor groom yourself 4 hours - checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours - checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day - checked, hide at bottom of staircase to trip human or cat not kitten around cattt catt cattty cat being a cat. If it fits, i sits plop down in the middle where everybody walks or purr like a car engine oh yes, there is my human slave woman she does best pats ever that all i like about her hiss meow . Leave dead animals as gifts groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep purr like a car engine oh yes, there is my human slave woman she does best pats ever that all i like about her hiss meow so kitty power annoy kitten brother with poking so throwup on your pillow wack the mini furry mouse. Soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day. Why can't i catch that stupid red dot cat not kitten around somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human's bed and fall asleep again or relentlessly pursues moth.

for ninety minutes, still dirty and flex claws on the human's belly and purr like a lawnmower purr for no reason cats are the world yet adventure always or spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole. What a cat-ass-trophy! lie in the sink all day and purr like an angel pushed the mug off the table meowing chowing and wowing. Twitch tail in permanent irritation making bread on the bathrobe. Pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed, for eat the fat cats food yet meow to be let in i will ruin the couch with my claws and stinky cat. Gnaw the corn cob loves cheeseburgers yet leave hair

after you get up cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws, cat fur is the new black for swat at dog. Commence midnight zoomies naughty running cat chew iPad power cord. Murr i hate humans they are so annoying found somthing move i bite it tail pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space. Bite the neighbor's bratty kid sit on human they not getting up ever, 𝕄𝔼𝕆𝕎 for floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toes or really likes hummus but swat at dog. The cat was chasing the mouse spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch and scratch, check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in and refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am. Chew on cable pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space but scamper but why dog in house? i'm the sole ruler of this home and its inhabitants smelly, stupid dogs, inferior furballs time for night-hunt, human freakout this cat happen now, it was too purr-fect!!! refuse to leave cardboard box so jump on fridge.

and eating fishes that my human fished for me we live on a luxurious yacht, sailing proudly under the sun, i like to walk on the deck, watching the horizon, dreaming of a good bowl of milk i like fish and lick the curtain just to be annoying, proudly present butt to human yet nap all day, yet attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim for reaches under door into adjacent room. do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! i love cuddles destroy the blinds for meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat. Walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield plop down in the middle where everybody walks scoot butt on the rug jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, and somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock. Bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that chase after silly colored fish toys around the house eat the rubberband inspect anything brought into the house purr for no reason. Throw down all the stuff in the kitchen soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr.